


Need a Little Change

by homochaotic



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: (nb juno isn't the focus but also it's always the focus), Canon Non-Binary Character, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Juno is Trying His Best, Kind of a little vignette between seasons 2 and 3, Makeovers, Nonbinary Juno Steel, Post-Season/Series 02, Rita is a Good Friend (Penumbra Podcast), haircuts as a coping mechanism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:28:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27553099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homochaotic/pseuds/homochaotic
Summary: Mr. Steel was doing so much better since the whole Theia/Newtown mess was over, but Rita still worried about him.  She was his best friend, after all!  Who else was gonna look in on him, just to make sure he wasn't getting into any trouble?  It was still Mr. Steel, though, and he always found a way to get into at least a LITTLE trouble.aka, Rita is worried that Juno has fallen back on some old coping mechanisms, but it turns out he's found some new, healthier (if impulsive) ones.
Relationships: Rita & Juno Steel
Comments: 16
Kudos: 77





	Need a Little Change

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work posted in The Penumbra Podcast fandom! I have a lot more ideas coming, this is just a little scene that I couldn't get out of my head, so I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> I was a little nervous about writing from Rita's perspective, but it was actually really fun! What IS weird is that the word "Juno" doesn't appear in this whole fic alskdjflaksdjf
> 
> Please read the tags! To expand on them a bit, if you're concerned:  
> \- Self-harm is mentioned in this fic, but it is entirely in the past. At no point is it described in detail or depicted, although blood is mentioned.  
> \- Past suicidal ideation and past drug-use are also mentioned, but no more than is typical in canon.  
> \- Alcohol consumption/dependence is mentioned, but no more than is typical in canon. 
> 
> I will post a more in-depth warning/summary in the end notes, but it will contain slight spoilers.
> 
> Despite those notes, this fic is entirely fluff and good feelings! Juno is trying his best to recover, and Rita is there to support him! We love to see it!

It had been an unusually quiet few months since the end of all that Theia and Newtown business, but Rita didn’t mind.

Honestly, there had been so much craziness with the election, and Mr. Steel disappearing, and Mayor O’Flaherty, and that evil brainwashing micro-chip, and—well, too many things to list, really. And even once the worst was over, Mr. Steel had been in the hospital for almost a month while all his bones and stuff healed. And when he got out, when Rita was finally sure everything was calming down, Mr. Steel starting talking to her about heists and space pirates and leaving Mars!

Was it something Rita had seen coming in her life, literally at all in any way? Of course not! Was she prepared for this kind of a huge change? No way! Was she definitely going to do it anyway? Yup!

She knew it was what Mr. Steel wanted—needed, too, most likely—but that wasn’t the only reason she’d agreed. It wasn’t about the money either, though the job payed (no offense, Mr. Steel) _way_ more than she was making now.

The thing that really made her say yes was… well, she wanted to! She’d never been off-planet before, even to either of Mars’ moons. And she wasn’t getting any younger, even if she was getting more beautiful. She didn’t talk about it much with Mr. Steel, and maybe she hadn’t even thought about it that often, but when Mr. Steel told her about the offer, it just felt right. For both of them.

She was real proud of Mr. Steel, honestly. A few years ago, or even months maybe, he never would’ve considered leaving Hyperion, let alone Mars. But he was different now. In some ways he was happier, in some ways he was sadder, but overall he was just… well, maybe “vulnerable” was the word. He didn’t act like he was allergic to his emotions anymore, he didn’t pretend to be angry when he was sad, and he didn’t look guilty when something good happened. It was like he’d finally realized he could just exist, and not try to force himself into some stupid, perfect mold.

Rita was really optimistic about what all these changes meant. But if she’d learned one thing after all these years being Mr. Steel’s best friend, it was that it didn’t hurt to be cautious, even if it _seemed_ like everything was fine. And that wasn’t being cynical or anything—she really did think he was making progress! But she could support him in that _and_ keep an eye out for, well, the bad stuff. It was a complicated balancing act sometimes, but Rita was an expert.

What that meant was, even though they didn’t go in to the office anymore, she still checked on Mr. Steel at least a couple times a day. They mostly messaged like all day anyway, just to keep each other updated, but she also liked to call or swing by. It was nothing new, she’d been doing it for years. The difference was, when she’d started, it was mostly because—

Well, it was to make sure he was alive, frankly. As dramatic as that sounded, it wasn’t really an exaggeration. Mr. Steel had gone through some tough times. Some really tough times. And there were a few years that Rita was the only friend he had to talk to, or that worried about him. And Rita didn’t mind! That’s what friends were for, after all. 

It was still a relief, though, that those times were mostly over. Recently, she more checked in that he’d eaten enough and done his physical therapy exercises—not whether he’d taken too many drugs or blacked out from drinking. 

Not that he’d stopped drinking altogether, and plenty of times he was sad or wanted to be alone, but it was different. It really was different, and in a good way.

Long story short, she wasn’t about to panic when one Tuesday he didn’t respond to her texts for a few hours. But it didn’t give her the greatest feeling in her gut, either.

He’d responded to her that morning, mentioning running errands, and that sounded good. It was nice for him to be out and about. Mostly Rita had been running his errands for him, lately, but he could be so independent and kinda stubborn, so that was probably why he wanted to do it this time. She called him a couple hours later, and he didn’t answer, but he was allowed to be busy. She was catching up on seasons of TV she’d missed anyway, so it was safe to say she was also occupied.

But as the sun went down, she did get a bit concerned. After another call went unanswered, she decided to just swing by. Mr. Steel had said before that he didn’t mind her doing that, she had a key and everything. She packed up a couple bags of snacks to take with her; hopefully Mr. Steel would be in the mood for a little movie night, but if not, maybe he was just having a down day, and that was okay. Rita could leave some snacks with him, and that was sure to cheer him up a little.

The walk to Mr. Steel’s apartment was a short and easy one, no sketchy neighborhoods or busy streets. She didn’t have a car, but it didn’t bother her, because she liked walking. Besides, she’d have to sell it now anyway, and that sounded like a pain.

When she arrived at the door to Mr. Steel’s apartment, she knocked, even though she had her key ready. That was just polite, right? He didn’t answer the door, which was pretty much what she’d expected, but it wasn’t exactly encouraging. Maybe he was sleeping, though. He liked to sleep with loud fans, so maybe he couldn’t hear her.

When she unlocked the door and swung it open, though, she didn’t hear any fans. Didn’t see Mr. Steel either, and the lights were kind of half-on/half-off.

She knocked again on the inside of the door, just to make the noise. “Mr. Steel?” she called. “Are you home? It’s me, Rita, I just wanted to swing by.”

A shuffling sound and then a clang came from the bathroom. Now that she looked, she could see that the light was on in there, a sliver of yellow peeking out from under the closed door.

“Uh, yeah, Rita,” came Mr. Steel’s voice from inside the bathroom. “Yeah, I—fuck!” It sounded like he dropped something else. “You can come in, I’m just kinda...in the middle of something.”

Rita closed the apartment door behind her and dropped her bags on the counter, but Mr. Steel’s flustered tone put her on edge. She looked around the apartment, but saw no clues of what he could be up to; it did look like he’d run some random errands, but that was it. She was starting to feel a creeping dread at this whole thing. It was a little too familiar, a little too reminiscent of some bad times.

“Uh, Mr. Steel?” she said, approaching the bathroom door cautiously. “Everything okay?”

There was a moment of silence before Mr. Steel spoke up. “Um, yeah. Everything’s fine.”

His voice sounded strained in a way that she couldn’t quite place. Not hurt or upset, necessarily, but not normal either. None of this boded well.

“Anything I can help with?” she said, keeping her tone casual—she was near enough now to the door that she didn’t have to raise her voice much to be heard.

“No, it’s—I’m fine, just.”

He didn’t finish his sentence, and Rita paused for a few seconds to think. She was getting properly worried now, but she had to stay calm. That was always the best way to deal with this. 

“Mr. Steel,” she said, speaking slowly and trying to carefully choose her words, “I don’t want to violate your privacy or anything, but I would really like it if you could open the door. If you’re thinking of doing something, or—or if you’ve done something, that’s okay. I won’t judge, I’d just like to help.”

She took a deep breath and tried her hardest to prepare for the worst. Mr. Steel had been clean from self harm for almost a year, but that’s exactly what this seemed like, as awful as it was. She’d panicked the first time she caught him doing it; there had been a lot of blood and he was so upset, and it had been really terrifying. But she’d learned since then, how to deal with it better. It didn’t stop being scary, but she had to keep hold of herself if she wanted to help.

So she braced herself, whether it was blood or drugs or something else. She could deal with anything, as long as Mr. Steel agreed to open the door.

When he spoke, though, he didn’t sound distressed like she expected. He sounded a bit exasperated, saying, “No, Rita, I’m not—don’t—ugh, fine.”

The lock clicked, and the door swung open.

Mr. Steel was...okay. He stood there in a bra and pajama pants, no makeup on or anything, and not hurt, looking almost normal, except for one thing:

Almost half of all his hair was shaved off.

Rita clapped both hands over her mouth at the sight. “Mr. Steel!” she exclaimed, her eyes wide.

“I know, I know…”

A wave of relief washed over Rita at seeing him safe, and it mixed with all the adrenalin and the shock at his ridiculous appearance, and she couldn’t stop the giggle that bubbled out of her chest. 

“Hey, you said no judging!” Me. Steel whined, crossing his arms across his bare tummy. Rita just couldn’t stop laughing though, and it only took a few seconds before Mr. Steel’s pout broke and he started giggling too.

She surged forward and hugged him then, because she couldn’t help it. He hugged her back, and with her arms locked around his middle, she took in the sight of the bathroom.

Mr. Steel had made quite the mess. He’d clearly hacked all his locs off with his kitchen scissors, of all things, and they were strewn across the counter, sink, and floor. The clippers were plugged in, surrounded by little puffy clumps of hair that he’d shaved off so far. There was a bottle of hair bleach in the sink, but it hadn’t been opened yet. 

“Geez, what’s with all of this?” she said, pulling back to lookup at Mr. Steel and planting her hands on her hips. “You had me worried!” 

“Sorry, Rita,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck and looking at the floor. “I just...wanted a haircut? I guess?”

She shook her head. “Mr. Steel, you are just the craziest lady I know, I’ll tell you that.”

He winced. “Yeah, I guess it was kind of an impulsive thing to do, but I...I needed a change.” He sounded embarrassed, even though he had no reason to be.

“Well, you should have called me!” she said. “I’m great at hair, and I wasn’t doing anything except layin’ around all day. I wanna be included when you do fun stuff like this, you know that! Trying to do a makeover without your best friend, that’s just crazy.”

As Mr. Steel realized he wasn’t being chastised, he visibly relaxed, his shoulders dropping and the grimace clearing from his face. He even smiled. “Yeah, you’re right,” he said. “Do you, uh, wanna stay? And help?”

“Well of course I do! Yes please! Like I said, I’m great at this stuff, which you already know. I’m gonna need you to sit in a chair, though, if I’m gonna reach your head. Go get that folding one, and I’ll grab a little dustpan for all this hair.” 

She knew her way around Mr. Steel’s apartment as well as she did her own, so it didn’t take her long to gather a few supplies. In the bathroom, she picked up all the severed locs and swept the bits of shaved hair, bagging it all up and making the room look less like some sorta weird salon crime scene.

Mr. Steel got his chair and then got himself all settled in front of the mirror. Rita was glad, not for the first time, that he was not a very tall lady, especially because she herself was quite a short lady.

“So,” she said, looking at Mr. Steel in the mirror, “you just planning on going shaved? All over?”

He snorted. “Well I hardly have a choice now, do I?” It sounded a bit more harsher than he usually did now, but he seemed to catch himself, because he continued more softly, “But, uh, yeah. That’s…what i was wanting. I think.”

Rita clicked her tongue as she fitted the clippers with the correct guard. “Oh, this is gonna look so pretty on you, I can’t wait.”

The actual shaving part didn’t take too long; Rita had done it plenty of times before and it wasn’t all that complicated. It helped that Juno was very still; actually, he was more cooperative than Rita had ever remembered seeing him, and she wasn’t afraid to tell him so. He didn’t argue, though, and he even asked about the seasons of TV that Rita had been watching, and listened patiently. She wasn’t entirely sure how much he could hear over the buzzing near his ears, so she did her best to speak up.

When she finished, she brushed the loose hair off of Mr. Steel’s head and shoulders, and then swept it all up. When she’d cleaned up all of the hair, Mr. Steel was just staring at himself in the mirror, rubbing his fuzzy, soft head.

“Well?” Rita prompted. “What do you think, do you like it?”

His face split with a smile, and he bit his lip like he was shy about it. “Yeah, yeah I really do,” he said. He sounded so sincere and sweet that it just made Rita want to cry. “Wow. Thanks, Rita,” he said.

“Aww, of course!” she said. “You look beautiful! Are you gonna dye it too?”

Mr. Steel looked surprised tat she knew, as though the bottle of bleach wasn’t sitting right in front of them. “I was, uh, I was thinking about it,” he said. “Do you think that would… look good?”

“Good?” said Rita. “I think it’ll look fabulous, boss! What color are you gonna do?”

He shrugged. “Um, I dunno, actually. Hadn’t decided yet. I’ve got a ton of different colors in that drawer, maybe...maybe you could pick? For me?”

“ _Oh!_ Really, Mr. Steel?” she squealed. “Oh my god, I’m gonna cry, that’s the sweetest thing ever!”

“It’s just hair color, Rita,” he said with a laugh, but his smile was even bigger.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?”

“Sure, why not?” he said. “I want you to.”

“Oh my god, this is so exciting,” said Rita, opening the drawer and started to dig through the contents.

Mr. Steel was right, there were a _lot_ of colors. Some of the tubes and bottles were unopened, but most were half-used. Some of them were definitely expired, if hair dye expired. There were a few almost empty bottles of teal, which was Mr. Steel’s most recent color, though it had been months since he’d refreshed it and it was almost completely faded. There was so much to choose from: orange, dark blue, bright and light purple, neon green—

And then she found it: the perfect color, and not even open yet.

“Oh, well, Mr. Steel, you know which one I gotta pick,” she said, looking up at him.

“No?”

“This one!” she said, holding up the tube of pastel pink dye. “Look! It’s like my favorite color, after yellow and then fuschia. This would look so pretty on you!”

He smiled the kind of real smile that Rita had gone years at a time without seeing on his face. “Okay, yeah,” he said. “Let’s do it.”

They had to start with the bleach, of course, and Rita was extremely careful with the gloves and both of their skin. She knew how bad bleach could sting, but it didn’t seem to bother Mr. Steel, even though she was smearing it all over his scalp.

It took a few rounds of bleach to really get it to look right, because his roots were completely black. In between rinsing and reapplying, they took snack-filled stream breaks while they waited for the bleach to do its job. Finally, they got all the color out that was gonna come out, and it was time for the pink.

Rita wasn’t nearly as cautious with the pink; after all, the worst that could happen was pink hands and that wasn’t very bad at all. They didn’t leave the pink on very long at all, because Rita wanted it to be nice and pastel.

When Mr. Steel did his final rinse and revealed the result, Rita couldn’t help but squeal and clap her hands at how _perfect_ it looked. Even Mr. Steel looked really excited.

“Oh, it’s _gorgeous_ , Mr. Steel, just gorgeous! And we hardly used any of that pink so you can take it with you, just pack it, and every few weeks or so, we’ll freshen it up! It’ll be perfect!”

Mr. Steel’s smile faded a bit at that, and Rita worried she’d accidentally said something wrong. He didn’t seem upset though, just got kind of a distant look in his eye. When he spoke up, she understood.

“Kinda crazy that we’re leaving Mars, huh?” he said.

Rita hummed, thinking. “Yeah, I guess so, but I’m not as sad as I thought I’d be. I’m just real excited! We’re gonna have so much fun, and see new things, and make new friends, and yeah it’s a little scary, but we’ll be together! You know?”

He smiled at her in the mirror, and then turned and wrapped her in a hug. Okay, now she really might cry—she couldn’t remember the last time Mr. Steel had been the one to initiate a hug…maybe never? She sniffed and hugged him back as tight as she could.

“Yeah,” he said. “Guess we will.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Any comments would be very appreciated and loved.
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at occhiolysm.tumblr.com :)
> 
> [A more in-depth description of tags/potential triggers: Rita worries that Juno may be self-harming based on some suspicious circumstances, but he's not—he's giving himself a slightly impulsive haircut, and the similarities to his past with self-harm is just a coincidence.]


End file.
